I have spent my life trying to be the perfect daughter for years.
I have begged my father for a relationship and pleaded for his love. No child should have to beg their father to love them. I’ve grown a lot. I’ve learned to accept that I’ll never have a relationship with my dad. Given the number of times, he’s let me down, I’ve learned not to get my hopes up. My dad never thought much of me. Everything I do disappoints him. He doesn’t notice that all I ever do is try to get his approval. Instead, He chooses to see all the bad things about me and ignores all the good stuff. He nitpicks at every flaw, everything I’ve ever done incorrectly. So, in a sense, I guess you can say I never exceeded his expectations of a daughter. In the infrequent times that he says, “I’m proud of you,” only then do I feel loved by him, even if that only lasts for a short time. I’ve accepted that my dad will never love me the way I’ve always wanted him to, the way I’ve always needed him to. Part of me is okay with that, but the other part wants her daddy to hug her and tell her he loves her.