I lost a part of myself that day, you know? It still hurts when I think about it, but I’m not bitter anymore. I can look at you now and not miss what we had because when I see you, I don’t recognize the boy I was with; I only see a stranger.
Sometimes, I have to remind myself that what we had was not a figment of my imagination. I have to remind myself that it was real, because I cannot imagine myself being with who you are now.
It’s hard knowing that I am the only one being hurt in this situation, even though I did not deserve it in the slightest. My house is the only place where I can feel free from it all because you are everywhere in this town. You’re in everything I do, everything I see, everything I hear, and everywhere I go. You’ve imprinted the memory of us, the memory of who you once were in every place in this town, and I cannot escape it.
I fought so hard to be where I am, to become a better person and mend what was broken. It’s difficult to know that every day, I still have to struggle through every memory and reminder of you, while it doesn’t seem to affect you at all. It’s almost as if what we had meant nothing to you. That’s what pains me the most.
But at the end of the day, despite all the struggle and heartbreak, I don’t regret it because it has led me to where I am now, and I couldn’t have gotten here if it weren’t for us ending. I now realize that what we had was good, but the outcome of us ending, at least for me, was even better. I believe that God brought you into my life to show me what I deserve, to teach me how to love, to demonstrate how quickly good things can be taken away from you, but most importantly, you were brought into my life to strengthen my relationship with the Lord.
So even through the struggle and the hurt, I will always find it within my heart to be grateful for you, and in every prayer I pray, just know you are in it.